starting... in roughly 6 weeks

a new move felt like a new blog was in order. a fresh start. in the hopes that i will keep it updated. there is so much to think about that it seems silly to try to add one more thing to the list of "things to think about and mull over and make decisions about and turn into actions while at the same time doing all of those responsible adult-type things we had to do before we were moving." really, there is no lack of things to think about, as there surely is with any big move-- selling our house, moving into a new house (or, "owner-occupied flat" to be specific), what to take with us, what to get rid of, what to store in our parents' basements, enrolling william in a school, finding a job for myself (will i find a job for myself?), getting our bearings in a new place, etc. but with an international move, there's so... much... more... passports, residency applications, plane tickets for a longgg (how do i emphasize this?) plane ride with a to-be 1 year old and 3 (and three-quarters) year old, learning a new language, a new culture, how to get around without a car, without a built-in support system, shipping things... by ship, wondering if i'll find vinegar and baking soda in the grocery stores, and what if hydrogen peroxide doesn't come in a brown bottle and we need it because one of us gets a cut or something but we can't read the labels on the bottles (i've actually fretted over that recently), do we bring this elephant?

it's not so much about this particular elephant, but the fact that we have this stuff in our house and it needs to go somewhere. we say goodbye to the elephant, or the kitchen table, the stereo, etc., etc., etc., or we take it with us, or we entrust it to someone else. right now there is the dilemma of 'to ship or not to ship.' our 'ship' pile of stuff has consistently been much smaller than the things we've already given away and, so it seems, somewhat smaller than the things we wanted to store, but suddenly, the idea of not shipping anything... it's a nice idea... less to worry about once we're over there... less to ship back when we leave... but... if we don't ship anything, the pile of things that we want to store suddenly becomes much larger than seems feasible to force onto any one of our parents, and the heavier and more important our luggage suddenly becomes as we try to squeeze in every little thing we think we might want to have with us... for this is not a vacation. at least, i don't want it to feel like we're on vacation for three years. well, what am i saying? of course i want to feel like i'm on a vacation for three years, but i know it's not going to feel that way and what i'm really meaning is that i don't want to feel like i'm just living out of my suitcase for three years. i want to feel settled to some extent. and i want not to need much. but already we've cleared out so many of our belongings and will surely give away many, many more items before all is said and done, and we're leaving our pets, selling our car, our home, and the items that hold some sort of importance to us will be out of our reach for three years, i just know that if we don't ship anything, we're going to have a hard time zipping our suitcases, we're going to find some things missing when we get there, and yes, we can replace those items, but i guess what makes it a dilemma is that, well, a) we're not rich, so we're going to replace an item we already own with a cheap copy of it, which, for me, feels sort of pointless and wasteful; and b) i just wonder if in a place so unfamiliar, we wouldn't find comfort in say, our kitchen table.

well, it is just "stuff" after all-- something i have been telling myself for weeks, well, years, but many times over the past couple of weeks as we've nearly completely cleared out our basement (apparently my "it's just stuff" mantra hadn't worked very well in the past-- or, more likely, it was a slow accumulation, with close to no time dedicated to removing any of it until now). and it does feel wonderful to get rid of so much stuff that we don't use or need in our lives. but there is this dilemma nonetheless.

hmm... i'm open to suggestions, opinions, points of view.

goodnight for now.