Friday, July 12, 2013

patchwork

this post is destined to be the least chronological post in history (in the history of 3YID that is).  

the present

i just finished round three of chemo.  woot!  so that means a third of my chemo treatments are behind me, though the effects of this third one will linger for a few days.   i suppose i felt something between chemo #1 and chemo #2 directly afterward: good enough (as in not too tired, but no "high") like after treatment 1 to go out to lunch afterward... not good enough to shop around after lunch... and tired, bone tired now... tired in my chest, my eyes, everywhere i suppose.  feeling like i've had one too many drinks, but not relegated to the bed quite yet (though perhaps a pillow on the couch is essentially the same thing).  

before chemo i met with an oncologist to check my progress.  a different oncologist than the one i'd seen the first time.  when he asked me how i thought things were progressing i told him i thought the tumor had changed a little.  then he checked and said, "a little?  or a lot?"  "well... maybe a lot," i said.  i had that feeling of going into a test, or into court... with a strong urge to keep any over-confidence in check, at least until discovering it was warranted.  "well," he said, "from what i can tell, in comparing it to how it's been described before chemo, i would say it's shrunk by about half."   

okay! cool!  i like a tumor, HALF its original size, TWICE as much.  

so, now a little of the recent past... in pictures... in some kind of order that has very little to do with time... 

recent past: 

down at the harbor, before a boat trip on the fjord... maybe... last saturday? 


our monkey man...


the big brother...


even more recent past: 

on vacation now... we went to the northern part of the sjælland, the island we live on... the town tisvildeleje was our destination thanks to the great recommendation from our friend (and now (sob) old) neighbor emily and the generous car loan from our friends siyi and andreas...

day two, a trip to some castle ruins from the 1100's.







and on a long walk into the surrounding forest...













to the remains of an old, what we translated to be, farming village from around the 13 or 1400's...


the trees surely came later...





an ant hill... a huge, ant covered ant hill...


t. rex...


william led us down this path, which brought us, somewhat inadvertently on a long path back to the beach (which you haven't seen yet, but which we had been to the previous day)...


"carry you, carry you, dada."


to the beach...


a pause...


a nap...


nearly there...


up the hill with william... he always looks so big to me these days, but occasionally it strikes me what a little guy he still is...


and down...


a long nap...


and later a circus...


with popcorn and apple juice and great big lollipops...


whoops... back home now... eating wild strawberries from the backyard...


father's day... way back when...


down at the schoolyard...


biking home with grandpa woof...


chive picking and eating...


and now back to the semi-present... lunch out in town on mom's second or third day in denmark...


riding down to the fjord... a couple days after the second chemo treatment...


a few pictures from a day trip to copenhagen a couple weeks ago...





at kastellet (a starred fortress whose beginnings date to the 1600's)...


lunch at nyhavn (that place you see in all the copenhagen postcards that i haven't sent you but always meant to)...


home again, home again, jiggety jig... see what nice meals you get to eat for lunch when your mom comes to town to take care of you...


there cannot be too many pictures of my little lovely guys...


william wanted to make a lego roller coaster, so together we did this...


okay, back on vacation now... pizza at the red tomato... if you come to denmark for pizza (which, in general, you shouldn't do) then go here in tisvildeleje... we did... twice...


from our rented house... a view of the neighbors grass and wildflower roof being watered....


our home for a few days... if you go to tisvildeleje, you can stay near the town, here....




on vacation... checking out the thrift stores...


and finally... a couple pictures of the beach... how did we get such gorgeous weather?


little h. working...


well, there it is.  did it all make sense?  not two beach vacations, but one.  not two visits (yet) from greg's dad, but one.  and 5:00 now and still not in bed, and maybe even able to eat a little dinner this time around... (albeit on the couch).  

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

It most be such a relief for you ,learning that the treatment is working.Really good news!
You seem to have an inner strength that makes you able to deal with this situation in such a calm and graceful way.

Great pictures from your trip up north, your mother seems to have brougth some summer weather with her;)

/Erik

greg|regan said...

Tusind Tak, Erik! If it's possible, I seem to have both more inner peace and more inner turmoil than before this diagnosis. Maybe that combination somehow amounts to inner strength. =)

George H. said...

Keeping up faithfully. It has been fun to watch as your writing evolves. Your photo of your son standing in the path leading to a verdant meadow (and the beach, I guess) was truly breathtaking. Fine job. Flink jenta! (Hvis du tar imot norsk OG dansk ros!)

Anonymous said...

So lovely are these pictures - so glad you have been in some beautiful spaces and such a treat to see "T.T." and Henry. Thinking of you often - you always feel a part of here, even though you are there. erica and family

greg|regan said...

Thank you George. And I nearly understood what you wrote (men jeg kan ikke tale norsk... alas).

Thank you Erica and family. We shall skype soon and I owe you an email.

Henry says: awsahhhhhhhnil,mb h ;.;..//./////

nina said...

SO good to have the photos fill in the month. And you did that on the day of chemo! Wow! Inner and outer strength, I'd say.
George H -- I thought you were all about Swedish, not Danish!
Regan -- I need not repeat (but I will!) how cool it is to read that things inside you are shrinking!
And the weather! In Denmark!?! That's one beautiful vacation!

Diane said...

Hi, I'm Nina's friend coming over here from Ocean. So good to hear the chemo seems to be doing its job. Loved this patchwork post of your family times, grandpa woof on the bike, your mom, and most especially seeing you in that first photo. Sending you lots of healing energy from Madison.

greg|regan said...

Thank you Nina. Thank you Diane.

greg|regan said...

Oh, and Nina... it looks like maybe George was speaking Norwegian... but I don't know... maybe it was supposed to be Swedish all along...

George H. said...

Norsk!

kat said...

regan, so glad to hear the chemo is working. the doctor asking you what you thought of its size reminded me of a midwife asking about the babe's progress outward. can you birth cancer? you seem to have a similar intuition for both. also i loved what you said about how big and small william seems. i see that in ollie too. perhaps oddly, watching him on videos helps me see him as a little guy. take care, kat

greg|regan said...

Hi Kat,

People have given me the metaphor of contractions in the face of each, in the case of cancer, unpleasant step toward recovery-- just one at a time. And before this last chemo round I really did get this feeling of Ingrid telling me it's time to get out of the nice, warm relaxing water again to do the hard work... oh... do I have to? Yes... I do.
And also the fact that if all goes as planned... this whole process will last around 9 months... and the food aversions, the bit of nausea, the exhaustion right after each round of chemo... so much to compare to childbirth... I think maybe you really can birth cancer...