4 rounds and a sound

it's been so long since i've posted you probably thought i succumbed to the cancer.  no, no!  still here.  still doing well, if it weren't for the blessing in disguise which is chemo.  i had my fourth round today.  my fourth of eight.  and eight, i have decided, is all i'm ever going to need.  this requires vigilance on my part and probably some powers i'm humanly incapable of possessing.  so a decision without a lot of teeth in the enforcement department, but as they say, where there's a will, there's a way, so i might as well have the will to get this cancer over and done with and out of my body and then never the twain shall meet again.  there, i've said it. that's the decision and i'm not even going to think about how long never again seems from a 33 year old's perspective.

so, for posterity-- round three: round three was a bit tougher on me than the first two.  i didn't get off the couch (much) for about four days.  then i was up but worn out for the next two and then took a gigantic nap the next day-- friday.  so that was week one.  in week two, beginning on saturday, i developed crummy canker sores on my lips which lasted for a good eight days and which had me eating two-thirds of my meals from a straw (not the same straw all eight days mind you).  fortunately, my weight held steady, but i'm also thinking i consumed my yearly allotment of lidocaine in those eight days too, so maybe that's why.  and yet, when the nurse said they might have to adjust my dose downward to try to prevent it from happening again, i did put up a bit of a protest.  whatever the maximum dose is, i want it.  even if it means more canker sores, mores straws, more lidocaine, i'll put up with it if it ultimately means my decision about never again is going to mean something.  but well, i get to (hopefully) live without the canker sores, because the doctor ultimately did decide to lower my dose a bit (25%).  this is my last round with these meds so in the end i did get most of it and next time i get a new med with hopefully the maximum dose for all four rounds.  also apparently there is no evidence to suggest that tailoring the dose to meet an individual's need, and not just to their body mass (which is how the dosing is figured initially), affects the ultimate outcome.  so, it's all okay.

well... enough with cancer.  here are some pictures of life that goes on...

i'm sure i don't need to tell you that these are not in chronological order, especially as we were here, at tivoli, yesterday...