Friday, June 21, 2013

round two

round two of chemo is officially done.  official in the sense that the drip is out of my arm (i try not use words like vein (but there i went and did it) because greg tends to get a little queasy with those kinds of things... fortunately not me).

so, what are my thoughts going into round two?  i'm not sure.  i'm just trying to treat my body well with good food and exercise.  for all of you out there thinking, 'man, she is too skinny right now.'  yes, i know. my thoughts exactly.  i think one effect of the initial stress was that i did lose weight, but you will be happy to know that i did not lose any weight in between round one and round two and in fact, seem to have gained a little.

i'm not experiencing that same intoxicated feeling from round one, strengthening my (now official) hypothesis that it is just a round one thing.  i began feeling drowsy pretty much as soon as the chemo meds were done, so we went home and ate lunch there, which was better anyway.  no more fried goat cheese.  ever.

so now i'm home.  a good meal in my stomach.  relaxing.  thinking that it would be a good idea to write this post for those wondering how the chemo went.  and for those wondering how the rest of our lives are going, one day i'll write a post about something other than cancer.  it wasn't really my intention to turn this blog into a cancer blog, but it wasn't ever my intention to get cancer, but here i've gone and done it, and the blog is a good outlet for me to discuss it with more than one person at a time.  but ask questions.  ask the questions you wonder if it's okay to ask "cancer patients."  say the things you want to say but aren't sure it's okay to say, because what do you say to a person in this situation?  well i'm no better at not sticking my foot in mouth than you, so go ahead and say it.  if it's not sitting well with me, maybe i'll say something, but really i'm still trying to figure out what's helpful and what's not.  i know that feeling supported in the decisions i make about my health is helpful.  feeling supported in general is helpful, but of course, you don't need cancer to want to have that need fulfilled.  i'm so grateful to have such a network of family and friends (i'm talking to you!) that i've never once felt like my cancer and i have been hung out to dry.  (case in point: my mom is here putting up with us and our crazy life and lifestyle for a MONTH!  i think by the end she can officially say that she's lived abroad in northern europe.)  so thank you, thank you, thank you.  i really cannot say thank you enough times and i wish everyone of you could feel all this love (if that's your thing) all the time... so go forth and love one another.  that's my official decree to you as the head of this blog (lacking in certain characteristics required for it to be an actual nation-state).  certain examples could include: a hug, a kiss, a 'how can i help?' if they need help, a tussle of their hair if they have hair, unless it would mess it up too much and would make them grumpy at you, food preparation, a 'thank you' if they've done something nice, a 'sorry' if you've done something not nice, a 'here, let me do that for you' if they're tired or lazy, a 'why don't we go for a walk?' because the outdoors is always a good place to be.  you can bring an umbrella if it's drizzling.  and of course, 'i love you.'  you can say it in danish too: jeg elkser dig (yI elskuh duh).

okay... nap time for me now.  hope this post wasn't too gushy or mushy for you.  we can blame it on the chemistry.


nina said...

Thank you thank you for the update. I can't say that I view your blog as a cancer blog. It's a you blog, one that has references, even in these last weeks, to so many things! Cancer is a thread, sure it is, but it's just that.

Here's a Q -- do your boys want short hair cuts like yours?

Kendee said...

Woo hoo- round 2, check! I agree with Nina. This isn't a cancer blog, just a blog about real life. Those of us who love hearing about your family are appreciative to hear how you're doing and feeling. Last night we were looking at photos of your last visit to our house and boy have William and Henry grown! I guess it has been a year now. And yes, a big shout out to my sister for being there! By the way, I want bike pics! She'll be in great shape when she comes home :). Hugs and lots of love to you all