a trip to the circus

i'm sitting in a distinctly scandinavian designed chair looking out at the mess we have made in our temporary apartment.  toys strewn about the floor and me afraid of doing anything with them because i can't say what goes where.  william will have that all figured out in his brain anyway.  the suitcases i could do something about, and the rest of the dishes, that pair of socks on the table and all those clothes upstairs that need to be washed...

so our temporary situation is that we rented a place through airbnb, someone's beautiful scandinavian designed, inside and out, house, because, per agreement, we're moving out of our current house at the end of the week (though, practically speaking, we moved out on sunday... greg pulling two full suitcases in our ratty old burley, me pulling henry and a bunch of loose ends in the other.  all of our food, the last of our milk, balanced precariously in a box that didn't quite fit in my bike basket... the onions spilled out on the final stretch... william got a flat tire before we'd even hit the super best... it could have been a scene from the play, 'the grapes of wrath in modern day denmark' because clearly that's about as hard as it gets here and we're really the only ones on the road doing it).

though we could have stayed through the end of our lease which would take us through most of the summer, we are traveling to the u.s. for six weeks at the end of this week and didn't think it made much sense to pay rent if we didn't have to, and then very quickly (within 2 weeks) have to move out and move in somewhere else upon our return.  aside from saving a little money though, i'm not sure we made things any easier on ourselves.  now we are moving out, putting things into storage, flying away at the same time, flying back and moving into a new place on the day we fly back.  that's going to be one long day.  maybe we should try to rent this place that night instead.

other than packing up and moving out, i look at back at our calendar for may and i see play dates, dinner dates, birthday parties, enough medical appointments to make you think i'm 95 years old... no... scratch that.. if you're healthy enough to have made it to 95, you probably don't have as many medical appointments as i have... lovely visits from a friend and even family... a trip to the circus, a gymnastics morning (with one of those play dates while greg and a few friends moved the heavy things into storage), a parent-teacher conference, tutoring sessions, lease signings... i could go on.

but everything's good! well, we're stressed out, that's for sure, but i think the busier i am, the more energy i have (though tonight i've allowed myself to sit down to write this and well, i'm not the one getting the laundry done or even moving those socks off the table).  i feel really quite good lately.  i don't feel weak or necessarily all that wimpy or tired.  well, tired only because we're so busy, but not the kind of tired i've often felt for no good reason other than all my treatment.  i told someone the other day that in the same way the inuits have 50 words for snow, i know many kinds of tired... the go, go, go, then hit the wall tired, the low energy the entire day tired, the overwhelming muscle/joint tired, the mental tired, (etc.), and it's not that most people don't know these tireds, it's just that these tireds and i have become intimately acquainted over the past year.  that they are a big part of my everyday life. now it's usually the first kind.. i'm good until early evening and then i slam into a wall with the overwhelming muscle/joint tired with a good helping of mental tired thrown in... only for the past few days, it hasn't been so bad.  i feel it now, but it's less overwhelming, and also, like i said, there is a good reason for it.  i'm moving so much.  so, at least for cancer... at least for me... at least for now... expending energy leads to energy.  thankfully.  because there's no shortage of things to do right now.  and yet suddenly, on friday, we'll be sitting on a plane for 9 hours (or something like that) with nothing to do... well... nothing to do except keep these two guys entertained.

thanks to greg's uncle for capturing such sweet moments the other day!

okay... onward and upward!