Thursday, November 5, 2015

on gray days, tired, rain, with a hint of snow.

you can have multiple gray days in a row and they are enough to make you not only forget about the sun but also forget about the rain.  and then you wake up and it's raining and it rains for most of the day and you think, 'why was i thinking these gray days were as bad as it gets?  you can add rain and make it worse!'

not that it's so bad once you actually get out there, provided of course, you're dressed for it.  this, i haven't forgotten, and it's truly something i've learned by living here.  so long as i'm dressed for it, once i'm out there, it won't be as bad as it looks.  okay, sometimes trying to ride your bicycle through driving snow actually is as bad as it looks or when the cold is permeating through two sets of gloves, but these rainy days, i mean.  they're OK.

i didn't get any pictures today, however.  but you can take any recent picture and add some water to it.  or, you can imagine me in too much of a hurry to take the time to stop, even though the rain eventually did.

so, a short, pictureless post.  my goal is to go to sleep before 11 o'clock tonight.  i have been trying to stretch the limits of my energy these days, and the bone-weary fatigue i've been feeling by early evening every day recently is telling me that i'm pushing too hard.  it is a form of tired i've only become well acquainted with because of cancer treatment.  that is to say, i feel quite certain i wouldn't know tiredness like this if i hadn't been put through the wringer so to speak (and maybe if i didn't push myself). anyway, it's not bad.  it just is.  like the gray outside, i can become so accustomed to it i forget what it's like to feel better-- and what it's like to feel worse.

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