i think my favorite moment of the day came when one of my classmates, a 19 year old ukranian au pair, and arguably the best student in the class, told me, "yeah, i think you, and also she (points to another new student in the class) will not pass the test." i don't know that i've ever heard such honesty ever before, with no ill intention. you might say in danish that it was fantastisk! except i didn't agree about our classmate. she did a rosetta stone program while waiting for her cpr number (what you need, in order to exist in this country) and entered the class a day after me. her comprehension and ability to form sentences is months ahead of me. i am, without a doubt, the worst student in the class. and i am worried, though not as confident as my au pair friend, that i won't pass the test. just in case though, i asked my teacher about it today.
"what will happen if i don't pass the test?"
"you're new to the class right? do you want to wait and take the test a few weeks from now?"
"well, if i take it and i fail, what will happen to me?"
"nothing."
"will i get to take it again?"
"yes."
"will they put me into a different class?"
"no."
"will it look bad if i have to take the test more than once? like, will something... happen?" (they're publicly funded classes... i have no idea how big of a screw-up i must be to lose my public support.)
"no, no!"
"okay then, i guess i'll just take the test next week and see how i do."
"are you sure? you can wait a few weeks."
"no... no... i'd rather just try, and see if i pass."
that's probably not the best approach. i should take the extra time to deliver a better presentation for the exam-- which is all oral. it would be less painful for me and for the examiner. but i'm too antsy. i'd rather just get it over with.
i started my second book today after class... and after a longer than necessary lunch break. and now, in between writing lines of this post i'm reading one article after another about topics that have no bearing on my life, like emma watson's haircut-- from a year ago. oy! also i made risotto tonight, which i didn't start until after 5 p.m. and which didn't finish cooking until after 6:30 p.m. because it was brown rice, which pushed bedtimes back, and, it just really seems like i have it out for myself sometimes!
so, now i'm going to end this post. i'm going to try not to read anything but 'jeg glemte tiden' for the rest of the night, and i will try to prove my classmate and my self-doubting side, wrong.
1 comment:
Okay, prove her wrong. I have confidence in you. But, really, were I in your Danish shoes, I would toddle along as best as I can, but I would also not miss out on life, on risotto, on blogging, on whatever makes you smile -- not any of it, because this test is not a test, not a law school test, not a performance test, from what you say, it's there to help you understand what you have to do in the future, it's not a mark of success or failure. So good luck because I know you want to pass, but please please don't fret. Your days are so incredible, so rich and wonderful! Maybe I'm just selfish in saying that I want them to continue just the way they are.
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