Saturday, March 28, 2015

tell you all about it

the goal today (my goal) was to keep moving.

cancer treatment can leave you feeling all kinds of tired.

one of the main types of tired i feel happens on days when i don't do much.

another of the main types happens on days when i do a lot.

the former feels like a physical weakness, like i don't have much strength.  maybe how you'd feel the day after the stomach flu.

the latter feels like how you'd feel after a hard workout, a big race, or a day of serious manual labor.

as you can imagine, i prefer the latter to the former.  even though it doesn't take a hard workout or a big race or all that much in the way of manual labor to cause it in my case, it's a much more satisfying feeling of tired than the weak-tired feeling.  so i generally try not to succumb to the lure of cozying up on the couch for too long, because it's not going to feel good.

sometimes accompanying my tired is a very low-level, flu-like feeling, if that makes any sense.  imagine that having full-blown influenza is a 10.  crank that same feeling down to about a 3 or a 4 and that's what i'm talking about.  often that feeling is enough to make me want to just sit on the couch and take things easy, but of course, as i explained above, that doesn't help matters.

a long explanation to say that this morning i was feeling that flu feeling and decided to push through it.  so the tops of kitchen cabinets got wiped down, cabinets reorganized, countertops cleaned off.  i did the yoga i was supposed to do today and the yoga i was supposed to do yesterday.  and now, i'm sitting on the couch with that satisfying worn-out muscle feeling, wishing, yes, that it would take more to wear me out (or-- that i could have a down day without all the energy disappearing, or even, that i could find a good balance), but knowing too, that i'm working at a different pace than i would be in some alternate, non-existent, cancerless world.  as long as i'm moving, i'm not dissatisfied with the state of my energy.

and of course, i'm so happy to be with these guys...

little h...

big w...

and we're (un)officially on easter break.  all four of us.  how good is that?!

tell us all about this flower... if you know... like.. indoor.. outdoor... ??

and a happy 40th birthday to my older brother, who was about this age when i first knew him...

1 comment:

nina said...

Love it! It lasts forever in a vase!